‘How are you? I’m good, yeah, YOU?’
Spot the deflect?!
I am so frickin good at deflecting, so much so I reckon it’s a superpower. I can deflect off myself and no one even realizes that I’ve blatantly avoided answering them in any way and instead what they thought they asked me was, ‘please ask me how I’m doing and then open up a space to listen to me so well that I feel seen and heard like never before’. OK!
Which of course is what I do, hence why no one ever realizes I never actually answer their first question!
And here’s the thing I want to share about this, because I know there are many other expert deflectors out there…
I do it on purpose.
I don’t do it because I don’t want to burden people with my problems, I don’t do it because I can’t be open and real and I certainly don’t do it out of some martyrdom to always be there for everyone else.
I do it because… well, truth…. I’m discerning about who I share with.
I can meet people at a depth because I’ve met myself there. And when I deflect, it’s because I know instinctively, intuitively either that person isn’t in the space to support me, or they haven’t got the ability to meet me where I want to be met. Which is to say as not a victim, not in sympathy and not trying to fix me. And not everyone can do that. Which is OK!
So what if you too are a deflector? And perhaps you’ve been beating yourself up for not being able to accept support, or being able to open-up and share?
Well it’s not because you are emotionally stunted and incapable of accepting help! It’s exactly due to the fact that you are simply discerning about whether or not opening up will help empower you or dis-empower you. You just know, instinctively.
And because your expectation is to be held in a space of empowerment, when you have stuff to work through, then your default for helping others is the same. Which is why they are so happy to not hear a response as to how you are doing and instead unleash their soul on you!
But you do need support just like everyone else. Personally I have very few, VERY few people I go to my depth with, and one of them I pay. Because I know not everyone is equipped to offer me the support I want, the support I need and the clarity of creating a space that I can feel completely free of any of THEIR energetic projections on to how I’m feeling.
That is key. Whether you realise it or not, people project their image of you onto you, and that is the very thing that can continue to dis-empower you, even though they mean well.
Which is why I create a space that holds you clear in your brilliance, regardless of whether I’m also holding space for you to have a mini melt-down. You’re still brilliant as far as I’m concerned!
And that is a major energetic shift that can allow you to feel grounded and empowered within your own body and emotions, which ultimately leads to a deeper trust with yourself.
Guiding and supporting you to access that trust is my deepest passion and privilege and I’m so beyond the moon to step into my role as an Wayshower, Intuitive Guide & Divine De-coder. You can check out my readings offerings over on the work with me page.
Feel free to ask me any questions, and yet if you know without question that I can help you, then let your mental over-thinking mind have a wee break and trust your instincts. <3
Lot’s of love,