But now I don’t feel like it….
You’re kidding, you too?!
I bet part of you doesn’t feel like this whole dedicate some time to a transformation thingy, perhaps all of you?
Here’s my first real, up front truth. I don’t feel like it either.
In fact I just yesterday went ‘ugh’ out loud when I realized that now I have to write 52 blogs on the theme of transformation.
Here’s a snippet of the thoughts that went through my mind
What am I going to say?
I don’t really know what I’m talking about anyway
I don’t even care anymore
They are going to figure out I’m making it all up
I’m probably going to flake out like usual
I’m DEFINITELY going to run out of ideas
I’m too boring most of the time
I’ll probably sound like a broken record
And on and on and on…. Just like that, just like a broken record!
I bet you are waiting for me to tell you that I ‘pivoted’ and starting telling myself positive statements instead? That I visualized ease and grace and suddenly I was excited and fired up again?
Well sorry to burst the bubble from the outset, but no, I did none of that.
I just let it be.
I watched and listened and giggled a little bit and nodded my head and agreed. Yes, I probably did look like a crazy person – what’s new about that?!
I let all the objections and interjections and in some cases pretty valid points be seen and heard and ALLOWED.
Without trying to shut them down or shut me down or make me wrong for even thinking or entertaining them.
Because to be even more honest…. Even as I’m writing this now, there they go again. Still at it. Still coming up with all sorts of reasons and excuses. There probably not going to stop anytime soon.
But I can let them fade into the back-ground a little, a little more, a little more, even more, getting quieter, less audible… Yes, now I can hear.
You see you don’t have to shut yourself down to all the very valid reasons why not. Because the irony is the more you try to shut them down, the firmer they will push back.
It’s the classic push-back. You push, they push. They push, you push. Otherwise known as resistance.
What if someone stops pushing?
What if that someone is you? And what if all the pushing is your attempt to ‘do it right’?
This transformation thing, this life of your dreams thing, this spirituality thing.
What if you can’t do it wrong?
You know what’s funny, histerical actually when you think about it…. we’ve taken exactly how we behaved in the ‘real world’ i.e. beating ourselves up for not being more successful, having the job and the kids and the life – all that stuff and we’ve replaced that now with beating ourselves up for not being able to manifest our true dreams, for not being able to do it right, for knowing better but not being able to BE better….
Can you see? It’s the SAME pattern with a different framework of ‘correctness’.
Well it stops now.
I want you to stop.
This is your theme for the week.
Stop trying to transform.
Stop trying to manifest.
Stop trying to figure out your message.
Stop trying to figure out your purpose.
Stop trying to be some version of yourself that you think you must be to get it all working.
Ironically – you’re getting in the way.
That’s all. Stop. Listen.
What do you want to experience this week?
Not what practice do you want to master, not how many times you plan to meditate so you can align so you can have & create….
NOTHING whatsoever about ‘so you can …..’!
What do you want to experience?
Me? Greater freedom in how I feel about the choices I make. Less conditions. More truthful to the moment. Zero conditions. Just me & my moment to moment choice on what feels soulfully aligned.
Simple. One would think.
However, even now I can hear the conditions chiming in
‘that won’t make sense to them’
‘it needs to be more concrete, more real, more practical’
‘you don’t even know what it means yourself!’
And I let them, I don’t push them back. Magically they flow through and dissipate, recede.
Yes, here it is, the choice, the moment – presence.
When I don’t worry about you. Sorry, not sorry!
But I can’t worry about you, I don’t want to worry about you, I’m not narccisstic enough to think I have a right to worry about another sovereign being.
And there-in lies exactly the frequency we are heading.
Sovereignty. Answerable unto one-self. Whole-ly independent & self-sustaining.
My sovereignty to BE the creator of my own experience.
Your sovereignty to BE the creator of your own experience.
And magically the two intersecting. Mutually supporting, though neither interfering or presuming to ‘know better’ about the others creation & choices.
Imagine that kind of relationship with everyone?
Trusting each other to have the reigns of our own lives.
Well I do. I trust you. I trust me.
What do YOU wish to experience this week?