In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve gone a bit more ‘out there’ lately. Which to me really means ‘in there’, as in I’m more tuned to the inner reality of energy & consciousness. But to the rest of the world, most of them, but obviously not you and me, that looks like ‘out there’ bat shit crazy.
Now in years past this didn’t really bother me. I posted my writings and my videos and let it all out and I wasn’t concerned about ‘what they thought’. Because originally I was more mainstream spiritual if you like. Sort of bridging between spiritual and personal development and definitely speaking more to the human aspect of who we are. And by that I mean our wants, desires and how we see the world and how some of how we see the world seemed silly. Basically, being very practical in my approach to up-turning the applecart of life.
So, to me at least, this felt relatively normal. Challenging perhaps for some, but nothing that people like Tony Robbins and Oprah haven’t already been saying for years. So, validity & back up from some ‘real life’ success stories. Safety.
But in the last year or so I’ve really allowed the full spectrums of my energy to land into me. I’m much more aware of how connected I am and I have much easier access to my own understandings and interpretations of the nature of this reality. I.E. that it really is all consciousness and energy. All of it.
And so with my extended access to the parts of me who know all this from where I exist in higher ranges of frequency. That is to say my higher-self being more present with me here and now, I’ve begun to share about that.
Que the bat shit cray cray projection. Even from myself!! Because the mainstream is still the mainstream even in personal development and spiritual fields. And while there ARE many who are forging these paths of Being the light and bringing this information into our experience… it is still pretty fringe.
But the thing with knowing is… when you know you know and it’s pretty tricky to un-know or know at a more limited level!
Anyway… I’ve gone on a bit of tangent there – you still with me??!!
I’ll wrap it up with this —- I’ve been freaking out about all the people on my FB friends list and desperately wanting to block my family and friends who I could feel energetically where sort of going ‘wtf!’ & rolling their eyes everytime they saw my stuff.
Freaking out. Wanting to create a safe container around me of only the people who get me. And I will, I am… that’s part of the mission this year. Thank you for being one of them.
But in all my freaking out I actually forgot something about who I AM.
You see I remembered something that happened a year or so ago which made me realise we don’t really change.
I received a box of my old stuff from Ireland. In it was my old school shirts. You know the ones you keep from your last day of school that all your friends had signed?!
The primary school one had something very interesting on it. Bear in mind when you leave primary school you are 12. 12 or there abouts. And one of my 12 year old friends had said to me ‘Thanks for the love and light!’
Here I thought I had changed. I thought I had done all this work, learned all this stuff, strived to find the real me.
Yet all the while, that WAS the real me. I’d only been playing hide and seek with myself.
I hadn’t been playing a game of ‘finding myself’ or ‘changing myself’, I’d been playing a game of REMEMBERING myself. My true self. My 12 year old self who didn’t know that ‘love & light’ was an ‘out there’ conversation. Who didn’t care that it wasn’t practical or sensible.
Although it took me even longer again to really REMEMBER. Because I took a nice leisurely journey of trying to find what was already in my pocket. Not that I regret it mind you…! What a jaunt it’s been. But I’m also stoked to have myself here with me Now. Or should I say that I’m finally aware and allowing myself to be here with me Now.
You know maybe we do change… we change into who we are not… so that we can re-remember and re-discover who we are.
So here it is… the re-frame and re-interpretation.
PS>>> To wrap up my story – I then realized that most of the ‘eye rolling’ I could feel from those online was a literal ‘that’s just Roisin!’ eye-roll! Me again thinking I was being something other than that which it is obvious I already AM! So, I stopped stressing about who could see me and who couldn’t, who eye-rolled and who didn’t and I reminded myself… perhaps one day they might begin to remember too. And perhaps it’s me who will help jog that memory. Who am I to say they won’t? And my 12 year old self said; ‘Exactly!’
Hint – let your younger self, who was already super close to your higher self, have a big say in this one