Recently I had the pleasure of needing to ring a call centre for assistance with some information. Most of us will carry some form prepared defensive energy into these phone calls as I’m sure no one is immune to having experienced intense frustration, miscommunication and sheer unhelpfulness in call center scenarios!!
However, at the time I happened to be in a really great mood, and while I did slightly dial the numbers with a sense of foreboding I also knew I would get what I needed quickly and easily.
Of course, the person on the other end of the line wasn’t privy to my knowingness of getting the info that I needed quickly, easily and pleasantly. I immediately could hear the frustration and irritation in her voice and general annoyance that I didn’t know what it was I was calling to ask about. An unhelpful and unkind demeanor to say the least.
I could feel myself going straight into reactive mode, my heart pounding, my voice rising in indignation and my energetic walls of defense and judgement appearing out of nowhere. A response I’ve had on numerous occasions in many different situations where I felt my intelligence, right to information and ability to know what I am doing being questioned and condescended to.
And while there have been times that that response was warranted and needed from me, in order to claim my own empowerment and disallow my ‘doormat’ energy to continue – that was not the day or the situation for it. I mean I could have gone there, but it was my heart pounding in indignation that reminded me I didn’t need to, nor is it even required anymore.
Because I have created my own empowerment, I don’t need to ‘get loud’, ‘prove my point’ or ‘demand respect’ from anyone…. I give that respect, that right to be heard and honored to myself, so I don’t need it from anyone else.
Now, do I enjoy relationships that demonstrate the reflection of those things? Of course, and naturally that IS my day to day experience – because it can’t not be since it’s what I’ve created within myself. However, there are still 7 billion of us here on earth and we meet and intersect along the way!
So, on the day in question I intersected with someone who wasn’t mirroring my self-respect to me and rather than fight her on it, I took a deep breath and allowed my pounding heart to draw my attention.
And suddenly I remembered, I don’t have to fight for what I can never loose, and with my own empowerment and voice being heard by ME – I was free to turn my attention to the being on the other end of the line. I listened to the anguish and unhappiness in her voice, the lost feeling, the sense of meaninglessness to her role of answering phone calls and I remembered something else. I remembered when that was me, in the very, very many different jobs I’ve had over the years. Feeling deeply unsatisfied, unseen and disillusioned with life. I could feel it in her field and I reached out to her heart with so much compassion, no agenda, simply compassion and respect and understanding. I didn’t say a word, but I changed how I was interacting with her, how I was seeing her and who I was being with her.
I was being a presence that could see beyond the surface presentation of a surly, unhelpful person to the truth of a bright soul who was crying out for a deeper experience of life. And I energetically let her know it was possible, I saw her and gave her all the respect from my heart to hers.
And like a miraculous shift into an alternate reality – the conversation transformed almost instantly. It got to the point that she kept me on the line explaining indepthly & offering additional advice I didn’t even ask for!
Would she have realized that’s what was happening? Probably not – I didn’t say ‘hey, I’m connecting with your heart right now and sending you so much love’ I just did it, I just Be’d that presence and whether she consciously felt it or not – she did respond to it, by receiving and opening up, which was reflected in her change of demeanor leading to a more satisfying experience for us both.
But I also had to change. I had to check myself before going into old habitual patterns of force against force, power against power, rightness against rightness. And I could – because I’ve done all of that and more within my own self. When my own rightness butt’s up against me, I often ask how willing am I to be ‘wrong’ even in my own eyes? Sometimes completely, sometimes not so much – but it is this exploration that allows me to transform my reality simply from the way I show up and perceive and then transmit who I am.
And that we create within ourselves first! Because then it doesn’t matter how others are showing up – not that it doesn’t matter – but it doesn’t have to affect you in the same way. And when you master your own presence and ability to transmit then you begin to see that you can Be someone who sparks it in another.
That’s when you realise you truly ARE the energy of change and transformation, because you experience it in your reality. Perhaps for a long time you’ve traveled your own path and as you are so close to it, you haven’t quite realised just how much of an agent for transformation you have been. And then suddenly you begin to see that others around you transform in your presence. Not because you DO anything, but because you BE the invitation for them to be the agent of transformation in their world.
We ARE the energy of Being & transformation and that does not have to be an esoteric conversation or experience that you have with a select few who ‘get you’. As recounted above – when you return to your heart’s field of transmission and intelligence then you truly BE that energy of change for yourself and for anyone you intersect with.
Choose your heart, and spark the change you wish to see – by BEING it.
Lots of love,